~JSYJ~ my game my rules

my mood sucks to the core…

kenzo88 — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 13:09:04 +0000

We Fight For The Outer Freedom
We Cry For THe inner Freedom
With THe Outer Freedom, We See And Rule THe Four Corners Of The Globe
With The Inner Freedom We See Our Soul

Farewell 2007

kenzo88 — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 15:25:00 +0000

2007 has passes rather quickly and it’s 2008 now. I’ve learnt much and matured in my thinking as compared to the previous years. But a thing for sure, i loved my prince deeper than ever. A short recap of 2007:

Due to the lover’s assistance, we’ve managed to gain some hands on business experience during Valentine’s Day.
Surprisingly, i’ve started working and i’m no longer a newbie who has no experience of hardships and politics.
I’ve had my first swim with the lover and i’ve ended up with a terrible suntan which darken my skin by 5 shades.
I’ve worked with the lover for the very first time as a temporary goodies bags packer.
I’ve gained at least 5kgs due to the constant feedings by the lover. He’s simply in love in fattening me up.
I’ve lost my confidence due to a sicko lecturer and new plans are currently under construct.
I’ve spent our 5 years anniversary with the lover. 5 years, man!!!
Had an enjoyable Christmas celebration and a new year surprise by the lover.

I shall let the photos do the rest of the talking.

The lover suggested having steamboat on the New Year as he considered steamboat as a form of reunion. Oops, he did it again not only once but twice. He surprised me on the eve of New Year, 11pm at my window to pass me a mini Hello Kitty cake and Famous Amos cookies. Fonder memories of the similar cake he bought for my 19th birthday. Just earlier, he has msned me his 2008 wish. While i was exclaiming how ugly i looked over that picture, his reassuring words touched me. That picture was taken 2 weeks ago when we visited Sentosa and we had caught a fish at the beach. How rare it is to catch a fish at Sentosa but we did…. Cheers^_^

I’ve received 4 christmas presents on the courtesy of my mother. A black version of the bag instead of brown, a Solvil Titus bracelet watch, a Anna Sui wallet and Nokia 6500 classic… What a Christmas!!!

I spent a day over at the lover’s house preparing his birthday meal. He ever said that i had never ever made a meal for him and his birthday wish was to be able to try my cooking. It was a 5 course lunch with salad prawn as the appetizer, fried chicken with mayonnaise as the side dish, clam chowder as the starter, chicken baked rice as the main course and Oreo ice cream cake as the desert. Beverage was served with Sparkling White Grape. Well, i wouldnt say it’s 100% successful but i would rate myself a 70%.

On the day of the lover’s birthday, i brought him to the White Dog at Vivo City for a sumptuous dinner and the enjoyment of the Christmas atmosphere.

We spent our 5 years anniversary at the Escape Theme Park. It was the first visit for both of us. In summary, i was petrified throughout and even puked at the end of the rides. I’m such a drama princess. However, the lover surprised me with his calmness. Oh, my hero… After which, we proceeded to the Nihon Mura for our dinner celebration. We are loyal sushi lovers ^_^ The lover had msned me a specially made Yugioh gaming cards with our photos on it. He’s absolutely creative. I loved you, sweetheart. 6 years, here we come…

I’ve been lazy to upload the adventures of our Autumn Celebration at the Chinese Garden. There are much more but below are the best of all.

kenzo88 — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 01:51:00 +0000

Finally i’ve managed to settle my feelings but it was ruined by a friend of mine. A born silver spoon she was, trying to boast about her current adventures, made me despised her even more.

Defeated: Buried in Sorrows

kenzo88 — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 09:01:00 +0000

I’ve lost the urge to blog. I’ve tons to say but no longer i can get myself to talk about it. I’ve lost everything. Simply everything…

I’ve to admit that i’ve aged or no longer as energetic as before. I just wish everything would fall into their rightful places. I’m tired with everything. I used to believe nothing is impossible as long as i’m willing to strive for it. But i fell terribly hard this time.

I put in my utmost efforts for MRA. I accepted the failure of my test because i realized the mistakes i’ve made. But no way i couldnt digest the fact that i was failed due to the unfairness of Aloysius’s marking. Throughout all the modules i’ve taken, this is the one i’ve put in my very best. If i was failed because of my incapabilities, i would accept it fair and square. But it wasnt this case. I’m exhausted.

I’m sick of the friends surrounding me. If friends are supposed to be the source of support, i felt worse. I just want to get out of SMa asap…

I’m being underestimated on my knowledge of business. For whoever information, i’m currently majoring in business. Dont bullshit me with whatever business theory you’ve, i know them all as well as you do. I may not be as experienced but dont belittle my capabilities.

He never ever understood how i felt despite countless explanations. I’m just unreasonable right? If i dont trust him, i wouldnt have spend the last 5 years with him. I shouldered the blame for his immaturities, i defended him because i believed he’s someone capable of achieving big but what do i get? His accusations and his misunderstandings….

My life has gone haywire and for the first time, i’ve succumbed to defeat. I just want to hide in my own world at this moment.

Am i overly sensitive @ times? I felt not.

kenzo88 — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 17:18:00 +0000

Somehow it’s just an intuition that’s pretty accurate. Should i say girls are more prone to sensing indirect sarcasm by their girlfriends? I had a chat with a fellow friend and somehow i sensed the sarcasm about the red marks all over the first few pages of the project (apparently it’s mine). Well, i may not be the best but i did tried my absolute best. I do not accept defeat. It gave me great satisfaction when i scored the highest in the individual assignment last semester. I’m not trying to boast or whatever but i have had enough of the adults showing an extremely superior attitude for the reason? They have tons of working experience. I’ve proved myself that despite experience is important, determination is the key to success. I felt kind of sucky now for letting her dampen my confidence. But the reason i’ve excelled in certain projects over the semesters, it’s the determination i’ve derived from those who underestimate me. I can be the best if i want to. And now, i shall put in all my efforts for my remaining projects. After all, April 2008 will be the end of everything and the start of my life.

Somehow i detested those who are born with a silver spoon in their mouth. It makes a difference if they are down to earth and strives for their own possessions in life. I told my parents about a thought mentioned by a friend of mine (which made me totally despised her) , they stirred a storm to ensure i’ll never ever have such a thought. I wonder what will become of them once they step into the working force? Will they ever resort to such measures to get things done? I do not wish to evaluate much about them, it’s my future that i’m striving for, not theirs.

kenzo88 — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 17:14:00 +0000

Lessons were totally unbearable. The lecturer was totally a sucker, for what he did was to smoke and deny his responsibilities. And he mentioned SEX twice during the lecture. How lecherous he was… I hated projects… I’ve tons to do and my brain is twirling in circles… I’m missing in action soon… Busy busy busy…

I’m Feeling Soooo Blue Now

kenzo88 — Sat, 29 Sep 2007 15:04:00 +0000

Your Depression Level: 96%

You seem to be severely depressed.
You should seek immediate attention from your physician.
Depression can be cured – you just need to take the first step.

Are You Depressed?

So much for all the heart to heart chat when you cant even oblige to our terms and conditions. You’ve deemed yourself a failure so dont ever turn to me for support. I’m trying my best and what you can do is to dampen my confidence.

I’m sick and tired about all the constant worryings. I’ve been trying to study the relevant text so i can assist in the project. But what have the rest been doing? I dont feel a damn from them. I’m exhausted worrying about work and i’ve difficulties getting a peaceful sleep these nights. I surrender… Everything is simply meaningless…

kenzo88 — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 02:20:00 +0000

I’ve been struggling with work, studies and love issues till i’m mentally and physically exhausted. HOWEVER, i’ve cleared the air with the lover. I dated him out for a cup of coffee over @ Pacific Coffee Company in Vivo City. That’s our very first having such a heart to heart chat. Typically, it helps me to understand him better and my faults as well. Communication is definitely a vital key in maintaining a long term relationship. I’m glad we’ve resolved to this form of understanding as compared to quarreling.

Well, we visited Chinese Garden on tuesday. It’s tiring due to all the walkings and climbings. But it’s definitely enjoyable with mooncakes, lanterns lighting and even fireworks. Shall upload the photos later. We took tons of picture, an estimation of 100 or less…

**Giggles** I’m in love with Yan Yan, especially the double flavors. **Finger licking good** I’ve chanced upon it when shopping for groceries with mummy. The best deal, it’s having an offer @ $0.80. Didnt even think twice before i gobbled 4 of it. *Wicked laughters fill the room*

You’ve got my public display of affection
If you’re on a mission, you’ve got my permission
Gimme gimme more, gimme more of you

Happy 4.10 years Anniversary

kenzo88 — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 18:27:00 +0000

It’ll be my 5 years anniversary with the lover in another 2 months. I’m feeling so excited with the count down. I’m sorry for being unreasonable the past few months but all gfs are unreasonable. ***Bleah*** It’s the girl’s right!!! Besides, which couple doesnt bicker? So forgive me BAH!!!

We loved hanging out @ Vivo City’s Skypark. It’s simply relaxing + romantic to watch the sunset after a hard day’s work. The wind that breezes the hair, the gorgeous dawn, the beautiful scenery and the perfect companion made up the lovely evening.

~The lovely sunset~

~The perfect companion~

~Hugs & Kisses~

I was accused of cheating the lover when i mistook the lanterns decorations which was supposedly @ Clarke Quay river, to be @ Chinatown. Although it’s not as fanciful we expected it to be, the festival mood prevailed. But well, i’ll still make it up to the petty lover. ***Chinese Garden, here we comes***

~Figures of ancient ladies everywhere~

kenzo88 — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 17:38:00 +0000

I’m PMSing again… I’ve been feeling frightened(for nothing) since morning. I’m feeling so down and stressed up. I’ve been worrying about work, school, friends, family and even EARTHQUAKE… I’m having the aftereffects of earthquake till the extent of me being so damn paranoid wherever i went. Even while i’m blogging, i suspected the room’s shaking again.

**My brain aint enjoying the bungee jump @ all.**

School’s real dry and dull. The lecturer wasnt that impressive as he thought he was. I’ve never encountered a lecturer that’s SO LECHEROUS!!! He gave examples about BOOBS, SEX and even asked the guys would they ever reject a woman who has STRIPPED NAKED in front of them. He demoralized the ladies by declaring that a husband will be sure to womanize despite knowing it’s unethical. It seems so rightful for men to be flirtatious and womanizer while women is often condemned as bitches or sluts. What’s with the equality in both sexes??? Regardless of how the world modernizes, it is still a fact that men are from mars and women are from venus. Inequality will continue to persist and to hell to all womanizers… Girls rules!!! **Bungee jump**

I left the class halfway together with a couple of friends and joined the lover for dinner @ Pasta Mania. For weeks, i’ve been craving for pizzas. I simply enjoyed the “bouncing spring” of the cheese. Yummy yummy…

~10″ hawaiian pizza~

I felt a sense of girl power gushing through as i listened to Beautiful Girls By JoJo. It’s an alternate version of Sean Kingston. The lyrics was much in support for all the beautiful girls and i loved that!!! Hooray…